What Is EMDR Therapy? How EMDR Can Help With Trauma, Anxiety, and Feeling Stuck
You can know something happened in the past and your body still responding as if it’s still a present reality.
Maybe you’ve talked about it before. You understand it intellectually. You’ve even done a pretty good job moving forward.
And yet, something is still there.
A particular relationship dynamic makes you anxious. A comment, sound, or smell sends you spiraling. Your nervous system goes into overdrive when you feel rejected, criticized, trapped, or out of control. You find yourself overthinking conversations long after they’re over. Or maybe something happened recently that you can’t seem to stop replaying.
This is one of the reasons I use EMDR therapy with clients who are dealing with trauma, anxiety, and difficult experiences that still feel emotionally “stuck.”
EMDR can help you process experiences that your brain and nervous system haven't fully integrated so that the past feels more like…well, the past.
So, what exactly is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
It is a structured (but highly flexible), trauma-focused psychotherapy originally developed to help people process distressing memories and recover from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Today, EMDR is used with a range of trauma-related and other mental health concerns.
EMDR is an evidence-based treatment for PTSD and is recommended by major clinical practice guidelines, including the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and Department of Defense guidelines.
Despite the name, EMDR is about much more than moving your eyes back and forth.
During EMDR therapy, a therapist helps you focus on aspects of a distressing experience while using bilateral stimulation, such as alternating eye movements, sounds, or tactile tapping. The process is designed to support the brain's natural ability to process and integrate difficult experiences.
And importantly, you don't have to tell me every single detail of your trauma for EMDR to work.
That's one of the things many of my clients appreciate about it.
How does EMDR therapy work?
One way I explain EMDR to clients is this:
Sometimes one part of your brain knows something is over, but your nervous system hasn't caught up yet.
Most experiences get processed and integrated over time. You remember what happened, but remembering it doesn't necessarily make you feel like you're back there.
Traumatic or overwhelming experiences can be different.
A memory may remain connected to the emotions, body sensations, beliefs, images, or survival responses that were present when the experience happened. Later, something in the present can activate that network, and suddenly your nervous system responds as though the old threat is happening again.
EMDR works with this connection between memory, emotion, body sensations, beliefs, and nervous system responses.
The goal isn't to erase the memory or make you forget what happened. Instead, EMDR helps you process the experience so you can remember it without being overwhelmed by the same emotional and physiological response.
What happens during an EMDR session?
EMDR is an eight-phase therapy, which means we don't jump straight into processing the most difficult thing that's ever happened to you.
There is thoughtfulness and preparation involved.
Before we begin trauma processing, we'll spend time getting to know your history, understanding what you're experiencing now, identifying treatment goals, and developing resources and strategies to help you stay grounded.
When you're ready to begin processing, we identify a specific memory or experience and explore different parts of it, including:
What you remember seeing or experiencing
What negative belief you have about yourself
What emotions come up
What you notice happening in your body
What you would rather believe about yourself
Then, with my guidance, you'll briefly bring aspects of the experience to mind while engaging in sets of bilateral stimulation.
This might look like following my fingers with your eyes, listening to alternating sounds, or using tactile stimulation such as tapping for a certain amount of time — generally around 45 seconds to a minute.
You don't have to force anything to happen.
You don't have to “do EMDR right.”
The most important job is to mindfully notice what comes up and allow the process to unfold while I help you stay oriented and supported.
What does EMDR feel like?
This is one of the most common questions I get.
And honestly, it varies.
Some people notice memories, emotions, body sensations, images, or thoughts moving through their awareness. Some notice connections between experiences that they hadn't previously put together. Others experience a sense of distance from something that previously felt incredibly charged.
Sometimes your brain stays in the present, other times it bops around like a time vortex through your life story.
Sometimes the processing feels surprisingly ordinary.
Sometimes it feels strange.
Sometimes you have an “aha” moment.
And sometimes your brain simply seems to go, Huh. I guess we're done with that one.
You don't need to have a dramatic emotional experience for EMDR to be effective.
The process is collaborative, and we move at a pace that makes sense for you.
What can EMDR help with?
EMDR is best established as a treatment for trauma and PTSD, but clinicians also use EMDR to address a variety of trauma-related symptoms and other concerns.
Depending on your individual history and treatment goals, EMDR may be helpful for:
Trauma and PTSD
EMDR can help process experiences such as:
Childhood trauma
Complex or relational trauma
Sexual assault
Physical or emotional abuse
Car accidents and other frightening events
Medical trauma
Sudden loss or traumatic grief
Witnessing something traumatic
Workplace or professional trauma
Relationship trauma
Recent traumatic experiences
Experiences that continue to feel emotionally unresolved
EMDR is one of the trauma-focused psychotherapies with the strongest evidence for treating PTSD.
Complex trauma
Not all trauma comes from one clearly defined event.
Sometimes trauma develops through repeated experiences over time—particularly within relationships or environments where you didn't consistently feel safe, seen, protected, or able to be yourself.
This can show up as:
Chronic shame or feeling fundamentally “wrong”
Difficulty trusting other people
Hypervigilance
People-pleasing
Difficulty setting boundaries
Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions
Emotional numbness or disconnection
Difficulty knowing what you want
Strong reactions to rejection or criticism
Relationship patterns that feel difficult to break
Feeling disconnected from your body
A persistent sense that something bad is about to happen
With complex trauma, EMDR is often integrated with other therapeutic approaches and paced carefully. The goal isn't to rush into processing years of painful experiences. We first work on safety, stabilization, resources, and understanding your patterns.
Anxiety and panic
EMDR may also be incorporated into treatment for anxiety, panic, and phobias, particularly when current anxiety appears connected to past experiences or specific triggering events.
For example, you might understand logically that you're capable and safe, but still experience:
Constant overthinking
Fear of making mistakes
Anxiety about disappointing people
Panic symptoms
Fear of rejection
Difficulty relaxing
Feeling constantly “on”
Catastrophic thinking
Anxiety around relationships
Anxiety following a frightening or overwhelming experience
EMDR isn't necessarily the first or only treatment I'd recommend for anxiety. Sometimes anxiety responds beautifully to other approaches, such as cognitive behavioral strategies, acceptance-based work, nervous-system regulation, or exploring underlying attachment patterns.
But when anxiety has roots in experiences that haven't been fully processed, EMDR can be a useful part of the work.
EMDR for high-functioning anxiety
You don't have to look like you're falling apart for something to be wrong.
In fact, some of the people I work with are exceptionally good at functioning.
You go to work.
You answer the emails.
You show up for your friends.
You meet the deadlines.
You keep everyone else together.
And then you lie awake at night replaying a conversation from three days ago.
Or you're constantly anticipating what could go wrong.
Or you feel like you're one mistake away from being exposed as not actually having it all together.
This is where EMDR can sometimes be particularly helpful.
Instead of only working with the anxious thoughts happening in the present, we can explore what your nervous system learned to expect in the first place.
Maybe you learned that mistakes weren't safe.
Maybe you learned that being useful earned you connection.
Maybe you learned to stay hyperaware of other people's moods.
Maybe you learned that being independent was safer than needing someone.
Maybe you experienced something that made your world feel unpredictable.
Those experiences can continue influencing how you respond to stress, relationships, achievement, conflict, and uncertainty long after the original circumstances are gone.
EMDR can help us work with those deeper experiences rather than simply trying to convince yourself to “stop overthinking.”
Do I have to have PTSD to do EMDR?
No.
You don't need a formal PTSD diagnosis to explore whether EMDR is appropriate for you.
Some people come to therapy knowing exactly what they want to process. Others aren't sure whether what they experienced “counts” as trauma.
You might even be thinking:
“But nothing that bad happened to me.”
Trauma isn't only about whether an experience meets a particular diagnostic definition.
Sometimes the important question is:
“Does something from my past still have a strong hold on how I experience myself, other people, or the world?”
EMDR may be worth exploring if past experiences continue to influence your emotions, relationships, body, sense of safety, or reactions in the present.
That said, EMDR isn't automatically the right treatment for everyone. Part of our work together is figuring out what approach makes sense for you.
Can EMDR help with recent trauma?
Yes, EMDR can be used as part of treatment following a recent traumatic experience — with a mindful caveat.
Immediately following trauma, the priority may be safety, stabilization, support, and helping your nervous system respond to what has happened. Depending on your circumstances and symptoms, trauma processing may or may not be appropriate right away.
If you've recently experienced something frightening, overwhelming, or life-changing, we can talk about where you are in the process and what kind of support would be most helpful.
You don't have to figure that out on your own.
Is EMDR better than talk therapy?
I don't think of EMDR as “better” than traditional talk therapy.
They're simply different tools.
Sometimes you need space to talk, understand yourself, build insight, and make sense of your patterns.
Sometimes you understand the pattern intellectually but still feel completely hijacked by it.
That's where a more experiential approach like EMDR can be useful.
I often integrate EMDR with other approaches rather than treating it as an isolated technique. Depending on what you need, therapy may include psychoeducation, attachment-focused work, nervous-system regulation, somatic interventions, mindfulness, values-based work, and good old-fashioned talking.
Therapy doesn't have to fit neatly into one box.
What if I don't want to talk about my trauma in detail?
You don't have to provide a graphic play-by-play of what happened.
EMDR does involve identifying and working with distressing experiences, but it is not the same as repeatedly telling your trauma story in detail.
A trained EMDR therapist will help you determine what information is clinically relevant and how much detail is appropriate.
You remain an active participant in the process, and we can adjust the pace when something feels overwhelming.
Is EMDR done online?
Yes. About the only positive thing to arise out of Covid was the creation of some amazing online platforms made specifically for EMDR.
EMDR can be provided through telehealth including using bilateral visual, auditory, or tactile stimulation.
Virtual EMDR still follows the same general therapeutic structure as in-person EMDR. Before beginning trauma processing online, we'll make sure you have an appropriate space, adequate privacy, and the resources needed to stay grounded during and after sessions.
For some clients, being in their own familiar environment actually makes the process feel more comfortable.
How do I know if EMDR is right for me?
You don't need to know the answer before reaching out.
That's part of what therapy is for.
EMDR may be worth exploring if you:
Have experienced trauma that still feels emotionally charged
Feel like you understand your patterns but can't seem to change them
Have anxiety that feels bigger than the situation in front of you
Find yourself reacting strongly to certain people, situations, or relationship dynamics
Experience panic, hypervigilance, or feeling constantly “on”
Carry chronic shame or negative beliefs about yourself
Feel disconnected from your emotions or body
Have tried talking about something repeatedly but still feel stuck
Want to work through a recent traumatic experience
Are high-functioning on the outside but struggling internally
You also don't need to walk into therapy knowing exactly what you need to process.
We can figure that out together.
EMDR Therapy in Chicago and Illinois
If you're looking for EMDR therapy in Chicago or throughout Illinois, I offer trauma-informed, collaborative EMDR therapy through telehealth across the state or in person in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago.
My approach isn't about digging up painful memories just for the sake of digging them up.
It's about understanding why something still affects you, helping your brain and nervous system process what happened, and creating enough space for you to respond to your life differently.
Because the goal isn't to become someone who never gets anxious, never gets triggered, or never has a difficult day.
It's to feel less controlled by what happened to you.
And eventually, to be able to say:
“That happened to me. It matters. And it doesn't have to keep running the show.”
Frequently Asked Questions About EMDR Therapy
What does EMDR stand for?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured psychotherapy approach originally developed to treat trauma and PTSD.
How does EMDR work?
EMDR involves recalling aspects of a distressing experience while using bilateral stimulation, such as alternating eye movements, sounds, or tactile stimulation. The goal is to help process and integrate distressing memories so they are less emotionally and physiologically activating.
Does EMDR really work?
EMDR has substantial research support for PTSD and is recommended as a trauma-focused treatment in major clinical practice guidelines. Research also supports its use for some other trauma-related and mental health concerns, although the strength of evidence varies by condition.
Can EMDR help anxiety?
EMDR may be helpful for anxiety, particularly when anxiety is connected to traumatic or distressing past experiences. It is not necessarily the best treatment for every type of anxiety, so an individualized assessment is important.
Can EMDR help with childhood trauma?
Yes. EMDR can be used to process distressing childhood experiences and the beliefs, emotions, and body responses that developed around them. Complex or developmental trauma often requires a slower, phased approach that emphasizes safety and stabilization.
What if I don't remember everything that happened in my childhood? Can I still do EMDR?
Absolutely. You don't need a complete or detailed memory of your childhood to do EMDR. We don't try to uncover forgotten memories or fill in the blanks. Instead, we can work with the memories, emotions, body sensations, beliefs, and patterns you do notice in the present. You can be curious about what may have shaped you without needing to know exactly what happened.
Can EMDR help with complex PTSD?
EMDR may be incorporated into treatment for complex PTSD and complex trauma. Because complex trauma often involves repeated experiences over time, treatment may also include stabilization, attachment-focused therapy, emotion regulation, and other therapeutic approaches.
Can EMDR be used for recent trauma?
Yes, but the timing and approach depend on the individual. Following a recent traumatic experience, therapy may initially focus on safety, stabilization, and coping before trauma processing begins.
Do I have to talk about my trauma in detail during EMDR?
No. EMDR does involve identifying and processing distressing experiences, but it does not require you to repeatedly describe every detail of what happened.
How many EMDR sessions will I need?
There isn't one standard number of sessions. Treatment length depends on your goals, history, symptoms, current stability, and the complexity of what we're addressing.
Can EMDR be done through telehealth?
Yes. EMDR can be adapted for telehealth using appropriate bilateral stimulation methods. Your therapist should first determine whether virtual EMDR is clinically appropriate for you.
Is EMDR only for people with PTSD?
No. While EMDR has its strongest evidence base for PTSD, clinicians may use it with other trauma-related concerns and certain symptoms such as anxiety, panic, phobias, and distress associated with difficult life experiences.
Thinking about EMDR?
If you're functioning on the outside but feel anxious, overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck on the inside, therapy can help you understand why and figure out what to do about it.
Let's talk about whether EMDR might be a good fit for you — reach out for a 30 minute consultation today!
